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A Valentine’s message for men of Tinder: Your first date is not a therapy session

Some see a candle-lit restaurant as an opportunity to discover all the wonderful things about their first date. Others see it as a chance to offload their personal baggage.

Courtneigh Summerrise, a gallery assistant in Manhattan, said a man once opened conversation on her first date with, “Next week, I am meeting my dad who abandoned me.” It should have surprised her, but it didn’t. She was used to men unloading their troubles before they even ordered their food. Other men have used dates to describe family problems, past relationship issues and traumatic life events.

She’s not alone. Talia Goldstein, chief executive officer and founder of match-making service Three Day Rule, said female clients complain that men are increasingly using dates to over-share about grievances in their lives — from divorce and family illness to financial strain and other problems.

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