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The Moneyist: My friend owes me thousands of dollars and wants cash instead of a wedding gift — should I write off part of the loan?

Dear Moneyist,

A friend of mine is getting married this summer. Over the past few years he has occasionally borrowed money and has been paying it back in small amounts regularly, but he still owes an amount in the low four figures. At this rate, it will be a few years before it’s paid off.

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They are going to ask for cash donations to go towards a honeymoon or setting up housekeeping. Both of them have had their own living arrangements and do not need toasters, etc. I want to contribute, of course, but would it be better to forgive part of the loan, or give them the cash they are requesting?

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